Day 7 – The most entertaining show at the Fringe Part Four

It’s back, and it’s better than ever. The longest running show with the longest running time is delighting audiences again this year with it’s twelve hours of drama, comedy, and static everyday of the Fringe.

Last year, Site Super Sandra got grounded by a volunteer, nobody knew the correct Fringe time, and Venue 2’s white board was exchanged for a wagon.

I am of course talking about the daily verbosity of the radio chatter on the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Walkie Talkies.

From noon until midnight, everyday of the festival, you can hear the theatrics that goes on behind the scenes of this theatre festival.

Let’s tune in:


“Walkie Check”

“That’s a good walkie”

“Venue 61 to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“One of my moving lights seems to be possessed by some crazy demon, and is wildly shining light in all directions.”

“That’s odd. Has it come unplugged from the brain?”

“It doesn’t look like it, but I’ll get up on a ladder and look.”

“Roger that. Let me know what you find.”

“Beer Tent to Patio”

“Go for Patio”

“I’m short volunteers over here, can you send one over… preferably that volunteer #99864775?”

“Uh… let me see who that is… wait, I can see you guys from here and you have lots of volunteers!”

“Ya, but I don’t have #99864775… I’ll trade you all of my volunteers for him.”

“Just ask him out already.”



“Venue 61 to Site Tech.”

“Go for Site Tech”

“I can’t seem to figure this out, the lighting board, the brain, and the lamp all seem to be plugged correctly, but it’s still going crazy. It’s like the board is getting instructions from somewhere.”

“Copy that Venue 61. Where is your iPad remote.”

“It’s right here by the…. uh…. I’ll get back to you Site Tech.”

“Roger that.”

“Front of House Prep to Venue 2”

“Wait, I’m Front of House Prep. Who is that?”

“Front of House Prep to Venue 2, tickets for Rambo Rescues Some Prisoners of War and Beats the Hell Out of More Terrorist Dudes – The Puppet Show are sold out”

“Ok, first of all, you’re Venue 2 and I’m Front of House prep. Secondly, I don’t need to know that information, Info Tent does”

“Venue 2 copies that….. Um… Front of…. No… Info Tent to Venue… Umm…”

“It’s ok Venue 2, Info Tent copies all that.”

“Roger that Front of Info Tent Prep. Over and out.”

“And then some…”

“This is Site Super to Patio.”

“Go for Patio.”

“Why do you have like 30 volunteers and the beer tent has 1?”

“Talk to Beer Tent, Site Super”

“Roger. Site Super to Beer Tent”

“Can’t talk right now Site Super. Busy.”

“Info Tent to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“It looks like there is a gang of racoons fighting over an iPad just outside Venue 61.”

“Roger that Info Tent. Venue 61, did you copy that? I think we’ve found your problem.”

“Copy that Site Tech, can someone call animal control?”

“Site Super Sandra to Site Tech, I’m on it.”

“Ten four Site Super.”

“This is outdoor site to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“We seemed to have lost power to the amplifiers for the band that is currently on the cube, anybody close by that could investigate?”

“Copy that, Site Tech to Beer Tent, can you see what’s going on from there?”

“Yes I can. My phone was dying and I really really really need to add Volunteer #99864775’s digits into my phone. I’ll only be a second.”

“Please don’t use the band’s power to charge your phone!”

“I can’t hear you…. you’re breaking up…. I’ll be back in 5 minutes.”

Fantastic, just like every day on the festival walkie talkies. Such intrigue, such passion, such drama! Will Volunteer #99864775 give his number to the beer tent? Will anybody in the audience notice that the band has lost power? Will the racoons figure out how to play Angry Birds?

Tune into a walkie talkie near you to find out…


About JBJ

John lives in an abandoned toolshed behind a fake rubber vomit warehouse in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada with a squirrel named Peanut Hoarder, where he steals an internet signal from the Kung Fu school next door. He is a little "off". View all posts by JBJ

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