Day 7 2014: The most entertaining show at the Fringe Part Three.

Amazing! Unbelievable! Don’t miss it under any circumstances! Five Stars!

Back again in it’s usual time slot from noon till midnight every day of the festival. Two years ago it was the orange puppets in the Kid’s Fringe, and last year there was an incident with some firemen at Venue 42.

I am, of course, talking about the amazing drama and unbelievable comedy of the radio chatter on the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival’s walkie talkies.

Let’s listen in:

static:

“Walkie Check.”

“That’s a good walkie”

“Site Super Sandra to Venue 47”

:static:

“Site Super Sandra to Venue 47, come in Venue 47”

:static:

“Walkie Check”

“HELLO…. HELLO… THIS IS VENUE……. UM….. what venue are we?…… THIS IS VENUE 47”

“Thats a good walkie”

“GOOD WALKIE? I DON’T KNOW, I GUESS, IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE ALL THE REST OF THEM”

“No Venue 47 I was answering the walkie check”

“THE WALKIE IS CZECH? ACTUALLY I THINK THEY’RE JAPANESE”

“No Venue 47, I was…. never mind. Be advised that volunteer #4578932, who is assigned to your venue as a ticket seller, is going to be late”

“YES, I KNOW DEAR, AGNUS TOLD ME SHE WOULD BE AT THE DENTIST UNTIL 11”

“Venue 47, you don’t need to yell into the walkie talkies.”

“DON’T YOU TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME YOUNG LADY”

“Mom! Don’t embarrass me on the radio!”

“THAT’S OK DEAR, WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER BACK HOME.”

:static:

“Walkie Czech…” :giggle:

“Shut up Burt! Your walkie is good”

“Venue 2 to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“Well my Venue is open and everything seems calm, which is good because I don’t want to be grounded by Sandra’s mom.”

“SHUT UP JBJ OR I’LL SHOVE THAT WALKIE POETRY WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE”

“Venue 2 to Site Super Sandra, no yelling on the radios please…”

:static:

“Beer Tent to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“Do we have any wagons left?”

“Venue 83 to Info Tent”

“I think we do”

“Go for Info Tent”

“Could you send one over?”

“Send what over?”

“Wagons”

“Can I get the official Winnipeg Fringe time?”

“I thought you wanted wagons?”

“There are no wagons at the Info Tent.”

“Venue 1 to Front of House Prep”

“I have Rogers phone but I think it’s 12:22”

“Go for Front of House Prep”

“Isn’t it only on MTS phones?”

“We need a new dry erase board and pens”

“Wagons on their way”

“I think Rogers is close to MTS”

“No I said dry erase boards… we have wagons? I’ll take one of those too… that will make it easier to get around the venue. I don’t own a phone.”

“Where is everybody going for lunch?”

“THIS IS SITE SUPER SANDRA, EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE READ HOW TO PROPERLY USE RADIOS IN THEIR ORIENTATION MANUAL! ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME!”

:static:

“VENUE 47 TO SITE SUPER SANDRA”

“WHAT IS IT MOTHER?”

“YOU’RE GROUNDED”

:static:

“So can we get a wagon or not?”

“I missed what the Fringe time was”

“I can just steal the white board from Venue 2 if this makes it easier”

“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU”

It seems like the tension is mounting. Will everyone learn how to use the radios before Sandra gets grounded? Will the Beer Tent get a wagon? Will anyone ever figure out what official Fringe time is?

Tune into a walkie talkie to find out….

20140718-211030.jpg

About JBJ

John lives in an abandoned toolshed behind a fake rubber vomit warehouse in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada with a squirrel named Peanut Hoarder, where he steals an internet signal from the Kung Fu school next door. He is a little "off". View all posts by JBJ

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: