Day 8 2013: Stuff overheard at the Fringe

A technical glitch yesterday prevented this blogger from loading a post. That glitch has something to do with my neuroreceptors losing their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine, which is a common side effect of Fringing. It was rectified after a long session of horizontal resting while wearing Batman pajamas… so we now resume our scheduled programing.

Sometimes you can’t help but overhear things that patron’s say about all things Fringe. They are always exchanging opinions, recommending shows, and lamenting the distinct lack of nudity in many venues. You hear these conversations everywhere. In the line ups to shows, in the Beer Tent, in the porta-potty next to you, just about anywhere. Here’s what some people are saying…

——–

Elderly lady: “I sure hope that this show is better than that last show.”

Elderly man: “Ya, that last one was pretty boring, but at least we got in for free.

Team Leader: “What was the show?”

Elderly man: “Something at the Red River, don’t know the title, but it was some guy wandering around talking about food safety in front of a blackboard.”

———-

Totally Rad Dude: “This show has nudity? Alright! T and A! What’s it called?”

Ticket Seller: “Be A Man”

———-

Patron: “How much is a ticket?”

Team Leader: “Ten Dollars”

Patron: “There isn’t a discount at this one?”

Team Leader: “Ya, there is, anyone who dances the chicken dance gets their ticket for ten dollars”

Patron: *does chicken dance*

———–

Customer in beer tent: “What is the vintage on those cans of wine?”

——–

Patron: *grabbing technician by the arm* “Did you find it?”

Technician: “Did I find what? Jesus?”

Patron: “No, my purse.”

Technician: “I think it’s with Jesus.”

——–

Vendor: “I just don’t understand it. Nobody seems to want mayonnaise.”

——-

Performer: “I’ve rewritten a lot of my play for tonight and none of it is really the same. What do you suggest I do for my lighting?”

Technician: “A general wash?”

Performer: “No, that won’t work, can there be a light that just follows me around the stage?”

Technician: *hands performer a flashlight*

——–

Patron: *holding festival program* “I’m going to start with this show, then I’m going to Venue 11 for this show, and then maybe that show at Venue 6.”

Other Patron: “That seems like a lot of walking”

Patron: “That’s why I picked them, they’re far away from each other.”

Other Patron: “What are the shows about?”

Patron: “Oh I don’t care, I gotta work off all this beer and chicken wings…”

——-

Patron on the chilly night: “Where do we buy Fringe parkas?”

——-

Young child: “Thank you for doing your show.”

Performer: “You’re welcome, did you understand it?”

Young child: “No, but it was good anyway.”

——–

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About JBJ

John lives in an abandoned toolshed behind a fake rubber vomit warehouse in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada with a squirrel named Peanut Hoarder, where he steals an internet signal from the Kung Fu school next door. He is a little "off". View all posts by JBJ

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