Day 12 2012: The most entertaining show at the Fringe.

OMG! There is this amazing show this year at the Fringe that has everything. Drama, intrigue, comedy, exchanges of dementia fueled conversation, mystery, and poetry. It starts everyday at noon, has a large cast, and has been playing to small audiences, but I’m addicted to the incredible storyline that evolves out of innocuous banter into a production of epic proportions.

Of course I’m talking about the chatter on the festival’s walkie talkies. It is so awesome. Every morning, I come in early, make a big ol’ bucket of popcorn, and sit in front of my walkie talkie to listen to the drama:

“Walkie check”

“That’s a good walkie”

“Walkie check”

“That’s a good walkie… yes it is, a very good walkie”.

“Venue 33 to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“My lighting board won’t work”

“Did you turn it on?”


“Thanks Site Tech, I’ll give that a try”

“Site Super to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“There’s a large possum living in one of the port-a-potties”

“I’ll get the stick”

“Venue 11 to Site Tech, that might be my pet possum George, I’ve been looking for him”

“OK Venue 11, next time leave him at home”

“I will”

“Venue 2 to site tech”

“Go for site tech”

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, My venue is open, that would be venue 2”

“Thanks Venue 2”

“Venue 64 to Front of House Prep”

“Go for Front of House Prep”

“What are the rules for required dress as an audience member.”

“No shirt, no shoes, no service”

“This patron has shoes and a shirt, but no pants”

“Security is on the way”

“Venue 97 to Info Tent, tickets are on sale for The Best Show Ewe Will Ever See”

“Kid’s Fringe to Site Super”

“Go for Site Super”

“Somebody is passing out free samples of Red Bull, and a group of kids from a daycare got ahold of some. The petting zoo is spooked”

“Ten-four Kid’s Fringe.”


“HELLO…. HELLO…. how does this work? I’m pressing the button… HELLO HELLO. I can’t hear anybod…”


“…the button like I’m supposed to. Does this green light mean anything? HELLO HELLO. Hmmm… I think this thing is broken.”


“Site Tech to Venue 12, I’ll be by later to show you how to use a radio.”

“… I think that they were talking about us. HELLO HELLO. VENUE 12 IS READY TO DO THE FRINGE THING”


“Venue 81 to Front of House prep”

“Go for Front of House”

“I have a patron who wants their money back because they are offended by puppets and the colour orange”

“Ten-four Venue 81. Send them over here and we’ll deal with it. Was there a warning in the program about orange puppets for that show?”


“Ten four”

“Venue 1 to Site Tech”

“Go for Site Tech”

“I think the technician in Venue 1 slept there again, can you please wake him up?”

“As soon as I deal with this possum, I’ll be right there”

“Venue 11 to Site Tech, please don’t hurt George”

“Site Super to Beer Tent”

“Go for Beer Tent”

“The Wing Guy is out of onion petals. What do you want instead?”

“Get me a bucket of mini-donuts”

“Ten Four”

“Venue 53 to Site Super, get me some too”

“Ten Four”

“Site Tech to everybody, lets not turn the walkies into a food ordering service”

“Fine, no donuts for you Site Tech”

“… OH you let the button go when you want to talk? Ok. HELLO HE….”

“Would somebody get over to Venue 12 and take away their radio!”

It continues that way, non stop, until around midnight. I can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode. Will George be rescued? Will Venue 12 learn to use a radio? Will the kids come down off the Red Bull? Will the orange puppets put on a good show?

Tune in tomorrow to find out!


About JBJ

John lives in an abandoned toolshed behind a fake rubber vomit warehouse in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada with a squirrel named Peanut Hoarder, where he steals an internet signal from the Kung Fu school next door. He is a little "off". View all posts by JBJ

3 responses to “Day 12 2012: The most entertaining show at the Fringe.

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