Day 10 2012: Line up conversations.

Today is my second “open, close, all five shows” day, and my brain is like swiss cheese, so I don’t have a lot to say today because I’ve been busy running shows and running up and down stairs. But while waiting for my various audiences to come into the venue, I overheard various conversations from patrons, and I print the highlights here:


Middle aged patron: “I saw an awful show yesterday at the Warehouse. I don’t know what was going on, but the door was open so I went in. It was just some guy mopping a floor. Kinda dumb, so I left”


Patron: “How long is this show?”

Team Leader: “I’d say about twenty feet.”


Patron: “This show has a language warning, what does that mean?”

Ticket Seller: “It isn’t mime.”


Usher: “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t come into the venue without a ticket.”

Me: “Excellent. Here’s my walkie talkie, there’s a script in the booth, and all you need to do is press go. I’ll be at the beer tent.”


Usher: “What do I do in case of a fire?”

Me: “Encourage the crowd to leave via the fire exit in a calm and orderly manner.”

Usher: “What will you be doing?”

Me: “Running out of the building with my arms flailing and screaming “Ahhhhh!”


Patron while sitting on the curb: “Those seats are so uncomfortable. I can’t sit on anything unless it’s soft”


Patron: “So this show is about the Roughriders?”

Me: “It’s about a Roughrider fan.”

Patron: “Is she from Saskatchewan?”

Me: “I think she’s from Ottawa?”

Patron: “Oh… So she must be a Rough Rider fan then.”

Me: “Ya, that’s what I said.”


About JBJ

John lives in an abandoned toolshed behind a fake rubber vomit warehouse in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada with a squirrel named Peanut Hoarder, where he steals an internet signal from the Kung Fu school next door. He is a little "off". View all posts by JBJ

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